Safe Harbor
by JaneDoe612
Summary: SG-1 plus one goes on a little retreat. Tag for Lifeboat. Chapter two up
1. Chapter One

**Safe****Harbor******

Spoilers:  Major spoilers for Lifeboat.  Also a spoiler for Legacy.  If there are any spoilers for other episodes they're so subtle even I didn't notice them.

Summary:  SG-1 (plus one) goes on a little retreat.  Tag for Lifeboat.

Warnings:  Some sexual innuendo and Daniel in blue pajamas g

Authors Note:  Right after Lifeboat aired, a plot bunny jumped into my head and wouldn't get out.  I started to write this story, but then writer's block caused me to stop for a while.  With the help of friends I've finally gotten back to it.  This is my first fan fiction, so I hope you enjoy it.  Many thanks to Shellgazer for her excellent beta and to Bannerlee for her encouragement and ego-stroking.  Any mistakes are mine and mine alone.

Disclaimer:  They're mine!  All mine!  Okay, okay, I don't own them, and I never will.  But a girl can dream, can't she?

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Chapter One

"He'll probably be unconscious for a while.  I think it's best if we get him to the—"

"What?"  I'm awake, I'm fine.  What's going on?  I try to open my eyes.  Big mistake.  Bright light intrudes on my dark world, sending searing pain through my skull.

"Daniel?  That you?"

"Jack?"  Of course it's me, Jack.  Who else would it be?  I start to open my eyes, more slowly this time, and try to look around.  I find I have a clear view of Janet, Sam, Jack and Teal'c, all standing in front of me, looking concerned, but relieved. But the view to the side is blocked, I'm not sure yet what's blocking it.  It seems like I'm in a small tube of some sort.  It seems familiar but I can't quite place it.  Wait, Jack's talking again.

"How you doing?"

"Bad headache."  Hello, I'm Daniel Jackson, archeologist, anthropologist, linguist, and master of understatement.  My head feels like it's about to explode.

"Nail in the head kind of thing?"

"Yeah, something like that."  How'd you know?

"Yeah."

Everyone gets real quiet for a minute, as if trying to think of something to say.  I take the opportunity to try and find out what's going on.

"Where am I?"

"In a cryogenic sleep chamber in the ship on planet P2A-347."

Thank you, Teal'c, that cleared everything right up.  "O-kay, and what am I doing here?"

"We can explain everything later.  Right now I'd like to get you to the infirmary and check you out.  Can you walk?

Can I walk?  Of course I can walk.  Been doing it since I was a kid.  Can I walk right now?  Entirely different question.  Even the slightest movement sends a fresh agony through my head.  I attempt to climb out of the chamber, only to collapse backwards again as a sharp pain lances through my head.  I hear, rather than see, Jack and Teal'c moving in beside me.  Suddenly, I feel two sets of arms reach in to support me.  I murmur a quiet "thanks," which almost gets lost in the rustling of BDUs as they pull my arms around their shoulders and we begin the slow journey back to the stargate.  I hear Sam and Janet fall into step behind us and I feel a hand come up to rub my back affectionately.  

The short walk out to the planet's surface takes far longer than it should, but finally we reach the ship's exit.  There's a gurney waiting outside, too wide to fit through the narrow corridors.  I protest weakly as I feel myself being lowered onto it and pushed the rest of the way to the 'gate.  I vaguely hear Jack order Sam to dial it up.  She seems reluctant to leave my side, but after a minute she gives me a pat on the shoulder and goes to the DHD.  The gate engages, and we go through.

When we come out on the other side, Janet calls for the medical team who seem to be waiting at the base of the ramp.  The minute the words leave her mouth, the medics are crowding around me, hooking up various types of monitoring equipment.  The rest of SG-1 are standing close behind them, looking on worriedly, having been forced aside so the medics could do their job.  I am dimly aware of the gurney beginning to move once again, and then I'm not aware of anything at all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When I awaken, I find my surroundings have changed again.  I am now lying on a bed in the infirmary.  I move my head experimentally and find that, while it still aches a little, it feels much better.  I look to my right and see Jack, lightly dozing in a chair inches from my bed.  I then look to the right and find Sam in an almost identical position, also sleeping.  I give a slight chuckle as I realize that in addition to Jack and Sam, Janet and Teal'c are also dozing in chairs at the foot of the bed.  It strikes me that I'm injured way too often as I find myself wondering why Janet joined in my bedside vigil this time; she must have been really worried about me.

Teal'c is the first to awaken, and he looks around as if startled to have dozed off.  Guess he still isn't used to needing sleep like the rest of us.  When he sees me he smiles, in that subtle way he has that someone who didn't know him might miss entirely.

 "Daniel Jackson.  You are awake."

His voice wakes the others up and I suddenly find myself surrounded by smiling faces.  They all start talking at once, asking me question after question, so fast that I can make neither heads nor tails of any of it.  "Hold on, one at a time," I say, laughing quietly, which causes the pain in my head to flare up briefly before once again receding to a dull ache.

"How are you feeling?" Janet asks, suddenly becoming the professional, efficient doctor.  She bustles around, checking her monitoring equipment and shining her penlight in my eyes, which causes me to pull back slightly.  "Sorry," she adds, noticing my discomfort.

"Head still hurts a little," I admit.  'And that penlight didn't help much,' I add to myself.  "Other than that, I'm fine."

"Do you want something for your head?"

"No thanks, I'm okay."  That seems to satisfy her and her features soften, becoming once again those of the concerned friend.  "What happened?"

"How much do you remember?" That was Sam.

"Not much.  We were on the ship.  I heard some strange noises.  I called for Jack, and apparently I was knocked unconscious.  Then I thought I was in one of the isolation rooms here on base, but the next thing I know I'm back on the ship, with you guys standing around staring at me."

"Well, basically, your body was temporarily taken over by several of the aliens from that ship."

"What?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As Janet explains the whole story, I find myself looking around at the others, who are all looking at me, as if trying to gauge my reaction.  Then I look back at Janet, and I see a small hint of the expression I dimly recall from when I regained control of my body for a brief period back in the isolation room.  Her normally cheerful face looks somewhat grim.  Suddenly I come to a realization.  This experience has probably brought back some unpleasant memories for her, as it now is for me.

About four years ago, when I was infected with one of Ma'chello's goa'uld killing devices I… well I went a little crazy, and Janet was forced to put me in a psychiatric institution for my own protection.  As much as I tried to get mad at her for just assuming I was nuts and not considering alien explanations, I knew that she only did what she had to.  She had a limited amount of information to work with and she did the best she could with the information she had.  I forgave her for that a long time ago, but I don't think she's ever really forgiven herself.  Now, once again, she was faced with the difficult decision to lock me up for my own good, and the good of those around me.  Knowing something has to be done doesn't make it any easier to do.

"So, doc, how long is he gonna be stuck here?" Jack's voice cuts through my musing and I realize Janet's finished her explanation.

"I'd like to run a few more tests and keep him overnight for observation, but if that goes well I don't see any reason to keep him here."

"Great, so he'll be out by tomorrow," Jack replies with supreme confidence, but she's not letting him commit her to anything she doesn't want to be committed to.

"Most likely."

"Well, Danny, the General's given us all a week's leave, so how'd you like to go fishing?"

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I wake up the next morning to find Jack staring down at me, grinning widely.

"Good morning, sleepyhead.  I was starting to think you were going to sleep all day.  How are you feeling this fine, beautiful morning?"

"Pretty good, actually."  I can't help but start grinning myself at the cheerful expression on his face.

"Good.  Now get up, get ready and let's go."

"Go where?" I ask, suddenly suspicious.

"You'll see.  Just come on, will ya?  Shower, shave, get dressed, and let's get going."

"Let's get going to… where?"

"It's a surprise.  Just get moving already.  The sooner you get ready the sooner you find out what you're getting ready for."

I sigh, and get up.  I have to admit, a nice shower sounds really good right now.

"Hold on, Dr. Jackson.  I still have to check you out, make sure there are no lasting side effects from the past few days."

I turn toward the sound of the voice, to see Dr. Warner standing in the doorway.

"Where's Janet?"

"Well, after yesterday she was pretty confident you were okay, and she had somewhere else she wanted to be.  She's having guests soon and needed to get the house ready."

He looks at Jack then, with a very odd expression on his face.  Then he turns back to me and says, "All right, let's get this over with.  I'm sure you have things to do."  Okay, now everybody's acting strange.  Either the SGC has been taken over by pod people, or there's a vast conspiracy against me.

In any case, he gets the exam over with pretty quickly, and Jack hands me a stack of clothes and toiletries.  I take them and head off to the shower.  "Be back in a few," I say over my shoulder as I walk away.

"Don't forget to brush your teeth," Jack shouts at my retreating back, "because I hate to tell you this, but your breath reeks."

I smile wryly as I climb into the shower and put my head under the gently flowing water.  It feels nice to just stand there and let it wash over me.  I stay there for a few minutes just enjoying the feel of the water on my bare skin.  Then I remember this surprise trip Jack is determined to take me on, and I decide to get it over with as quickly as possible.  I finish my shower, shave, and, grinning once again, brush my teeth.  I walk out of the bathroom to find Jack standing there, staring at his watch.

"Well, it's about time!  I almost thought you'd drowned!  Are you finally ready to go?"

I know it's pointless, but I have to give it a shot anyway.  Making my best effort to sound casual, I say, "Yeah, I'm ready.  So, where are we going?"

"I told you, it's a surprise."

"You said when I was ready to go you'd tell me!"

"I said the sooner you were ready, the sooner I'd tell ya.  There's a difference."

"All right, fine.  Let's go."  I'm not sulking.  I don't sulk.

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I follow him out to his truck and we get in.  He starts up the engine and we leave the mountain.  We drive in silence for a while, with him watching the road and me just enjoying the scenery.  We seem to be heading up in elevation, but aside from that I still have no clue where we're going.  Despite the huge amount of sleep I got last night, I still feel really tired and I think I may have dozed off once or twice on the way.

Of course Jack, being Jack, doesn't do well with silence.  Nothing short of a brigade of Jaffa approaching our position can stop him from talking for long.

"So, how're you doing with this whole 'possession' thing?"

"Okay, I guess.  It's not like this is the first time something like this has happened or anything.  Still feels weird though."

"Tell me about it."

"I mean, I actually had about a dozen other people in my body at one time.  What were they like?"

"Well, Martice wasn't the nicest guy in the world.  Kind of arrogant; selfish too.  The kid, Keenin I think was his name, he was sweet.  Really felt bad for him.  And Tryan?  Well, he was a lot like you actually.  You with Carter's technical skills anyway.  Nice guy.  Smart, too.  Willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good."  He says this last part quietly, contemplating.  Then he pauses and adds, "Didn't really meet the rest of 'em.  Now, seeing a woman in your body, though, that was weird."

"A woman?"

"Yeah.  She showed up right after you came out of hiding."

"What was she like?"

"She seemed nice, but I was too distracted watching her check out your 'assets' to really notice her personality."

"Oh god."  I bury my head in my hands.  "Please tell me you're joking."

"Well, she was understandably quite surprised to find herself in a male body, and she did seem quite interested in the new 'addition,'" I swear if I sink any lower I'll actually melt into the upholstery, "but she didn't do anything 'unladylike' if that's what you're asking."

"Well, I guess I can be happy about that at least," I say, raising my head slightly.

"Though it wasn't for lack of trying.  You should have seen what Fraiser had to go through to keep your clothes on."

"I'd really rather not, thank you," I say weakly while sinking down so far that if I had room, I actually would have slid off the seat and hit the floor.

 "Relax, I'm joking.  She just spent a little more time staring at the mirror than the rest, that's all."

"That's all?"

"That's all."

"Okay."  I push myself back into my seat, but I'm still covering my face in my hands.  Then there's a lull in the conversation, during which I look out the windows and realize it's starting to get dark out.  I was so involved in my impending humiliation I didn't notice.  I look at the clock and realize it's almost 6:30.  I look at Jack, who seems to be looking for something.  I can't imagine what, though, as we seem to be in the middle of nowhere.  All I can see is the gravel road we're driving on and lots and lots of trees.  As Jack would say, what a wonderfully green universe we live in.

"How long have we been driving?"  I ask, stifling a yawn.

"Well, since someone decided to sleep all morning and part of the afternoon, too, we got a late start, but I'd say we've been driving for about 4 ½ hours."

Now here comes the question I really wanted to ask.  "And where are we now?"

"We're almost there, don't worry."

"Almost where?  There's nothing out here but trees!"

"Ah!  And we're here!"

I look around incredulously, having seen absolutely no change of scenery in the last few minutes.  Suddenly Jack makes a right turn onto a dirt path so small it can barely be called a driveway.

We drive about another half mile when the trees abruptly part, showing a large log cabin and, behind it, a body of water, either a large pond or a small lake.  We park in the driveway and I notice there are two other cars there.  One of them I know is Sam's, but while the other one looks familiar, I can't quite place it.

The front door opens to a large sitting area, which contains a couch, a coffee table, and several armchairs.  When I walk in I notice three people sitting on the couch with their backs to us.  They hear us coming in and they stand up and walk towards us.  It's then that I realize who the second car belongs to.  Sam and Teal'c are there, of course, and the third person I saw on the couch is Janet.  That explains Dr. Warner's appearance in the infirmary, and his strange behavior.

The team and I have done this before; go off to some remote location for a little healing, both physical and emotional.  Actually, I should say the team has done this before, since I always seem to be pulled along unknowingly.  I probably should have seen it coming.  Usually, however, it's just the four of us.  I guess they invited Janet along this time because they figured she could use a little healing too.

Sam's the first one to speak up.  "I'm glad you guys are here.  We were beginning to think you'd gotten lost."

"Sorry we're late.  Dannyboy here decided to pull a Rip Van Winkle on us."  I yawn again.  "And it looks like he's about ready to do it again."  He redirects his comments toward me.  "You know, for someone who basically just spent the last couple of days in a coma, you sure sleep a lot."

"Well, it's not like I really got that much rest while I was playing host to a group of aliens!"  The words seem harsh, but the tone is lighthearted.  "So I suppose you packed me a suitcase like you always do when you drag me on these little retreats?  Although I have to admit you've really outdone yourselves this time.  I didn't think you could find anything more remote than last time, but you did."

Sam laughs. "Top of the stairs and to the right.  Your bedroom's at the end of the hall.  We even unpacked your stuff for you."

I laugh too.  "Well, it's great to be here, but now I need to get some sleep."

As I walk up the stairs I hear Janet, who has never been party to any of these trips before and was watching the previous conversation as she would a tennis match, finally speak up, sounding amused.  "So you do this often, do you?"

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When I reach the top of the stairs I turn right like Sam told me to.  As I head down the hall I peek through the open doors and see pretty standard stuff; bedrooms, bathrooms.  When I reach my room, I open the door and walk inside.  It's huge room, easily the biggest bedroom in the house.  Across from the door, which opens on the right side of the room, is a king-sized bed, with nightstands on either side of it, facing a large TV cabinet.

There are two doors on the left of the room, which I check and see that one is a walk-in closet and the other is a large bathroom.  I still haven't found what I'm looking for so I move to the dresser behind the door.  Searching the drawers, I quickly find my best pair of blue pajamas, which I change into.  I look at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand to my right, and determine I have time for a nap before dinner.  I lay down on the bed, and I'm asleep the minute my head hits the pillow.  My sleep, however, is far from restful.  It is disturbed by dreams, nightmares, a feeling of being trapped, trapped within my own body.  Suddenly Jack's voice cuts through my nightmare.

"Daniel?  Daniel, wake up!  It's just a dream, Daniel, come back to me.  Come on, big guy."

I wake up suddenly, breathing hard.  I feel the bed depress slightly as Jack sits down, then his arms wrap around me and I realize he was standing beside my bed, trying to wake me up.  I must have been crying out in my sleep.  Jack's room is probably right next to mine; he must have heard me.  Now he just sits with me, acting as a comforting presence, not making any demands.  Once I've calmed down a little, I feel heat rising to my face as I realize that the noise has also attracted Janet, Sam, and Teal'c, who are standing awkwardly just outside my bedroom door, looking at me with concern.

I gently extract myself from Jack's arms and scoot back to lean against the headboard.  Then I look out the window and realize it's still really dark outside.  I look at the clock and see that it's 2:30 in the morning.  I look up at the four faces all looking at me expectantly.  "Hey guys," I say apologetically, "sorry to wake you up."

"It's all right, Dannyboy, who needs a full night's sleep anyway?"  Jack replies with a grin.  Then his expression turns serious and he asks, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay.  Just had a bad dream, that's all."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not right now.  I just want to try and get back to sleep if that's okay."

"Okay.  Well, if you need anything, I'll be right over in the next room."

"Sweet dreams," says Sam.

"Thanks, guys," I say gratefully as I sink back down onto my pillow.  Sleep doesn't come easily this time, but when it finally does come it is peaceful and free of dreams.

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I awake the next morning to the delicious scent of bacon cooking.  I head downstairs and find everybody already gathered in the large kitchen.  Jack is cooking, and everyone else is sitting around and talking.  When I walk in, all four sets of eyes turn to me.  I wish they'd stop doing that.

"Hey Daniel," Jack calls cheerfully.  "What do you want in your omelet?"

"I don't know, Jack, I mean you're cooking it… are you sure it's safe?"  I ask with a mock fearful look.  We go through this every time; I bet if I didn't make fun of his cooking he'd start wondering what was wrong with me.

"Ha, ha, very funny.  Do you want breakfast or not?"

"I'd love some breakfast.  I'm starving."

"Yeah, you missed dinner last night.  We didn't have the heart to wake you."

As Jack speaks, he continues making breakfast.  When he finishes he starts piling eggs on a plate, then adds a couple pieces of bacon and hands it to me.  He then hands plates to the others and takes the last one for himself.  We all move into the dining room, sit down at the table and start eating.  For the next few minutes not a sound can be heard except for chewing.  I hate to admit it, but Jack did a great job.  The bacon is crisp enough, but not too crisp, and the eggs are just the way I like them.

After breakfast, the five of us move into the backyard.  There is a large deck behind the house with a hot tub, a wooden bench, and a couple of lounge chairs.  Jack, of course, immediately settles himself into one of the chairs.  I start to sit on the bench, but am quickly ambushed when Sam and Janet come to stand on either side of me and shove me into the other chair.  I settle myself into the chair, looking down at my lap, hoping that nobody can see my reddening cheeks.  As nice as it is to know I'm with people who care about me, sometimes I feel like they treat me like a child.

Anyway, after Jack and I are settled in the lounge chairs Sam, Janet and Teal'c take seats on the bench.  We keep talking, about nothing, really.  Everyone seems to be avoiding the real issue.  Nobody wants to talk about what happened, the real reason we're all here.  Pretty soon their voices fade to a quiet undertone.  I look around and realize what a gorgeous day it is.  The sky is a beautiful blue expanse, uninterrupted except for a few wispy clouds.  The temperature is perfect, and there's a light breeze, just enough to rustle the tops of the trees and cause ripples on the lake.  As I'm examining the water, trying to decide if that was a fish I saw a minute ago or just a leaf, I become aware of a voice speaking my name.  When I don't respond, that voice is joined by three others, all sounding concerned.  Then I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Jack standing over me.

"Daniel?  You okay?"

"Yeah, I was just… thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"About whether or not you brought your fishing gear," I say, smiling up at him.

"Of course I did," he replies matter-of-factly.  "Why do you think I opted for a cabin by the lake?"

"Of course," I echo, my grin widening.  "Why do I even bother asking?"

"In fact, what do you say I go get it and you and I can see about catching some dinner?"

"Actually, that sounds like fun," I reply, watching Jack's face carefully for his reaction.  He doesn't disappoint.  His eyes widen and he seems almost speechless for a few minutes.

"It does?"  He asks when he finally finds his tongue.

I start laughing at his reaction, and I hear Sam and Janet join in behind us.  Teal'c, of course, doesn't laugh, but he does smile slightly and I can tell he's enjoying it too.

"Well, I guess we'll leave you two alone," Sam smiles and walks back inside, closely followed by Janet and Teal'c, who looks positively eager to escape.  He never has been a big fan of fishing, despite Jack's assertions to the contrary.

"Well, I'll just… go… get my gear, then," Jack says, mouth still hanging slightly open in surprise.

When Jack comes back, fishing gear in hand, he and I move our lounge chairs out onto the small dock jutting into the lake, bait our hooks, and cast our lines.

To be continued…

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And here ends Chapter One.  If you enjoyed it, please review.  The more I know people liked it, the more motivation I'll have to continue writing.  Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, and of course outright praise is always good g


	2. Chapter Two

**Safe****Harbor******

Spoilers: Once again, major Lifeboat spoilers (it is an episode tag, after all.)  There's also a spoiler for the season seven premier Fallen/Homecoming, and more spoilers for Season three's Legacy.

Warnings: One little swear word hidden in there.  Blink and you'll miss it.

Author's Note:  Well, here it is.  Chapter two.  It's kind of short, but I really hope you enjoy it.  I've been kind of busy with school lately and haven't had much time for writing (at least not anything I actually _wanted_ to write.)  I've decided to leave this story at two chapters, at least for now, because the longer it's out of my mind the harder it is to get it on paper.  There was just one scene that I had to get down on paper before I felt comfortable ending the story, and now that I've got it, I'm going to move on to other projects.  If inspiration strikes, or if the response to this chapter is good enough, I may continue it, get back to the full extent of my original vision.  For now, however, that's all she wrote.

Thanks again to Shellgazer and Bannerlee for their help and encouragement.  Couldn't have done it without you, guys!

Disclaimer:  I don't own Stargate, (though I wouldn't say no to Daniel) nor do I own Pasta Roni, unless you count the boxes of it in my kitchen cupboards.  Suing me would be pointless as I am broke.

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Chapter Two

_"They're in your mind, Martice."_

_I'm back in the isolation room again.  I can't see Janet, but I can hear her.  I'm standing by the two-way mirror at one end of the room.  My hands, in restraints, are cupped over my ears._

_"No.  No no no no no no, what you say cannot be so.  I have responsibilities to attend to. I-I cannot remain here!"_

_As I say this I turn.  I catch a glimpse of Janet out of the corner of my eye, standing next to a gurney in the middle of the room.  I walk to the other side and pace.  My body's moving and talking, but I'm not the one controlling it._

_"You cannot leave!"_

_"3,000 of our people depend on me to lead them.  I am their sovereign, they have sworn an oath to me."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"It is my destiny to rule over Ardena!"_

_"No listen.  You don't understand the seriousness of your condition."_

_"And you still don't realize who you are talking to!"_

_I suddenly find myself overcome by a feeling of anger toward her that is so strong it scares me.  I feel my hand reaching toward her.  If I wasn't restrained I think I probably would have hurt her._

_"I don't give a damn!  You don't belong in that man's body and I intend to take it back!"_

_The being in control of my body recoils at Janet's intensity.  Even I'm a little stunned.  I've never heard her like this before._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A tug on my fishing line startles me out of my slumber.  I jump, and Jack looks over at me.

"You okay?"

"Sure," I say, trying to sound casual and likely failing miserably.  "I think I've actually got one."

If I do sound strange Jack doesn't seem to notice.  "Well, reel it in already," he says, as I start to do just that.

I fight with the good-sized fish for a while, finally managing to get it on the deck, where it flops around a bit before finally laying still.  It's enough to get us all dinner and still have plenty of leftovers.  Next comes the fun part: cleaning and gutting.  I think I'll leave that to Jack though.  Every time something bad happens on his watch, he goes into his "mother hen" mode.  So, I may as well take advantage of it. 

We both take our chairs back and Jack carries my fish into the kitchen.  He tosses it onto the counter with a flourish, announcing, "once again, the men-folk have provided dinner, and now it's time for the women to cook up the feast."  If anyone but Jack O'Neill had said that, he probably would have gotten slapped by at least one, and quite possibly both, of these women.  In response to the acid glares they both toss his way, he throws up his hands in a gesture of surrender and starts the messy job of filleting the fish.

The minute Jack's back is turned, those glares turn to smiles and Janet starts rummaging in the cabinets for ingredients to make a marinade.  Janet's cooking is always excellent and I look forward to tasting whatever she comes up with this time.

Twenty minutes later, they are finished prepping the fish. It's marinating in a honey-mustard sauce that smells great. Jack and I don't, so we head upstairs to shower. Jack beat me back to the sitting room and I catch the last part of the conversation.

"…Cassandra while we're here, anyway?"  Jack asks Janet.

"Oh she's staying with a friend for a few days," she replies, before excusing herself to start getting together the rest of the meal.  I offer my assistance, as an excuse to talk to her alone.

I've learned the hard way that avoiding problems doesn't make them go away; it just makes them multiply.  It didn't take me long to figure out that the dream I had on the dock was really a memory.  As I was in the shower, mulling it over, my mind started to fill in some of the blanks.  Apparently I didn't come out of this experience with as little memory as I thought.  It seems that at least some of the memories are still there and it seems likely that, as when I first came back to Earth from Vis Uban, the memories will come back on their own and the only thing to do is to deal with them as they come.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I follow Janet into the kitchen, asking how I can help.  When I close the door, it earns me a strange look from Janet, but she decides not to press the issue.  She starts the fish cooking and assigns me the task of figuring out side dishes.  I look through the kitchen and find a box of Pasta Roni, angel hair pasta with herbs, and some corn in the freezer.  I measure out the water, milk, and butter for the pasta and set it on the stove to boil, according to the instructions on the box.

Now that dinner is underway, I broach the subject of my dream on the dock.

"Janet?"

"Yes?"  She turns and looks at me.  Whatever she sees on my face, it must not be good because when she continues she sounds worried.  "Daniel, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just… I was just wondering.  When I was in isolation before, I remember I was in restraints.  Why is that?"

She hesitates, probably trying to decide how best to phrase her answer.  "Well, some of your… visitors weren't very nice."

"Like Martice."  It's a statement, not a question.  I already know what she's going to say.

At this, she scrutinizes me further.  "Yeah, like Martice.  Why?"

"Well, when I was fishing with Jack earlier, I had what I would like to call a nightmare.  However, the unfortunate fact is that it actually happened."

Her voice is softer when she next continues.  "You're starting to remember."

"Yes."

"What was it?"

"Martice was hearing the voices of the others.  He, well all he cared about was his reign as sovereign.  You tried to tell him that the situation was far more serious than that.  He wouldn't listen."

As I speak, I see the realization in her features.  Her eyes widen and her mouth drops slightly open, which all tells me one thing; she knows what's coming next.

"And as he reached out, I could feel his anger towards you.  I could feel exactly what he would have done if he hadn't been restrained.  His desire to wrap his hands—my hands—around your throat.  He was in a situation where he didn't have all the power, and he wanted to take it back, no matter who he hurt in the process."

Janet clearly has no idea what to say to this, so after a minute I rescue her.

Actually, there's something else I've been wanting to talk to you about."

She visibly shakes her head in an effort to focus on what I'm saying now.  "What's that?"

"It's not your fault."

Her surprised look is replaced by a carefully neutral expression as she realizes what I mean.

"What's not my fault?"  She asks, though we both know she's well aware what I'm talking about.

"None of it.  Nothing that happened to me was your fault.  Not even the fact that I ended up in isolation and restraints.  None of it."

"And what makes you think I was blaming myself?"

"Janet, I know you.  I also know that after the incident with Ma'chello's little toys you blamed yourself for locking me up in Mental Health."

The minute I mention Ma'chello, pain contorts her features briefly.  I feel bad for reopening this wound, but this is something I never really told her at the time, and she needs to hear it.

"Janet, I know how you feel about what happened back then, but you need to know that it wasn't your fault.  At first, I tried to blame you.  Wanted to.  But I couldn't.  You did everything you could to help me.  You ran all the tests you could, and they all led to the same conclusion.  You had no reason to believe it was due to any alien influence. Eventually the only thing left to do was to make sure I didn't hurt myself, or anyone else.   Hell, even I was worried you might be right!  It wasn't your fault."  I put special emphasis on the last sentence, to make sure she's getting this.  Looking at her face, I'm pleased to realize she is.  She still doesn't seem completely convinced, but seems to understand I don't blame her.  And so, I press on.

"So again you were faced with the necessity of locking me up, and once again you made absolutely the right decision; the only decision that you could make.  I still don't blame you.  So there's just one more thing I want to say."

Her voice is unusually quiet when she responds, and I think I hear a hint of a tremble in it.  "What's that?"

"Thank you for fighting so hard to get me back."

I smile, feeling much better for having gotten that off my chest.  I look down at Janet and can see that she feels better too.  I don't think she's forgiven herself for either incident, I don't know if she ever really will, but I hope she's taken the first step on that path.

The End…

…for now

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Well, there it is.  The end of my first fanfiction.  Short but sweet, or at least, I like to think so.  I hope you liked it, and I hope more will be coming.  I had a lot of fun, and I want to thank BizzyLizzy and Terri16 for your kind words.  I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as you enjoyed the first.


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